my initial feeling about my dad’s death was quite grim. i pictured him lying in filth, semi-concious and starving to death. after having conversations with two different people i feel on the one hand better but at the same time extremely guilty and personally responsible for not doing more.
deputy milhausen was very friendly and helpful last night, he reiterated the “unihabitable” part but when i said that i didn’t mean to accuse anyone but why didn’t someone get my dad some help sooner he told me that he was told that a few months earlier the mail lady had called an ambulance for him because of his “eye infection”. apparently some people, paramedics, social workers etc came out and made a full assessment and decided he was of “sound mind”. deputy m said he wasn’t personally involved but we both agreed that as an adult they couldn’t remove him from an obviously bad situation.
that coincides with a letter he wrote to my sister in which he was completely lucid, asking about her husband and kids, asked for my address and had a complete understanding of our situation~that he had made mistakes and we were disappointed and hurt.
thinking about it last night, i thought it might be helpful to talk to this “mail lady” mainly to thank her for taking an interest and keeping an eye on him. i rang the mosinee post office today and was completely floored by the kindness and concern this woman gave to my dad…. and me. i explained the situation briefly to the woman who answered the phone and after awhile of being on hold a quiet voice came on and said~miss boyle? can you imagine how long since i’ve been called that?
sarah said she hadn’t called the ambulance but about a year ago dad wasn’t picking up his mail and she went to the door and he didn’t answer. she was concerned and had someone else go to the house and he was just drowsy but otherwise said he was okay. she brought up this “eye” thing, everyone else-the deputy, the funeral director called it an infection. i asked sarah so what is this “eye infection” she said-oh, no…it was cancer…it was a big tumor on his face. “it was hard to look at”
sarah said she sat with him several times and told him to just go to the doctor and they could probably take care of it but he said he was okay. she said lots of people tried to get help for him but it was his choice, that he was happy up there with his cats. she asked about his family and he said he had some kids and they were scattered all over. she asked if we were going to have a service for him.
at the end of the day, i have my faith in human beings restored.
sarah asked for my phone number and when i said actually i live in england~~she said you’re calling from england?!? right now??? that central wisconsin girl came to life! i took her phone nimber and address and i’ll send her something from england~~it’s the least i can do to thank her for taking the time to talk to my dad.