i went to rotherham on friday and went back today-i have been rotherhamized. on friday i got off the train and was somewhat concerned. it was a small two track station-under construction! i was herded down a makeshift path and ended up on a busy street and luckily there was a taxi parked across the street.

there in a little side street, a new friendship was born! mr taxi driver with the real south yorkshire accent took me to the hospital and when i finished my work-i called him, he picked me up, somehow the topic of rotherham itself came up….you’ve never been to rotherham ? (he said)   No….(i said) on the way back he gave me the tour of rotherham town centre as only a middle aged native could…and on the left, if you look down that street, i’ll go slow…. you’ll see where the market… with the cobbles…. used to be…

on my return today, i called him but he was on another call so i had to face rotherahm alone~~i ventured into town and tried to find another taxi, checked out the bus station and finally asked a security guy where i could find a taxi….he took me back to the bus station, to stand A7 and said stand here in this queue and take any bus that stops here. right after a woman came up to me and asked-is this the bus to the hospital?-imagine that??? i said-that’s what i’ve just been told…..

a bus came, everyone loaded up, i paid my £1.60 and hoped that i’d know where to get off. my trip on friday made it easier and sure enough we pulled up to the  hospital and half the bus got off!

they have a new million pound lobby at this hospital which has a costa coffee, posh flower shop and boots chemist. i treated myself to a coffee and banana-pecan loaf at the costa. i had great fun watching the natives struggle with the posh coffees and croissants-i heard conversations like:

  • i’ll ave a coffee, luv
  • a normal coffee? luv
  • normal coffee, yes luv
  • for ere or takeaway?  luv
  • for ere, luv
  • one pound, eighty five, luv
  • ere you go, luv
  • ta, duck
  • ta, luv

these are tough tea drinkers-“normal” coffee is exotic for them….

the other surprising thing i saw today was when i was leaving and came out of the lift-on friday i missed the large poster of dolly parton holding a baby, flanked by an NHS nurse….talk about surreal…

but no, a little research shows that dolly parton did in fact come to rotherham- to open a children’s library…

i have to say the people of south yorkshire were lovely, friendly but clueless. they even beat the brummies as a collection of unhealthy, medical misfits….some of them look so frail, pale and pasty it’s scary…like they have never been in the sun….ever….in their whole lives and are totally sustained by pork, potatoes, nicotine and beer….

i looked through some other youtube videos and while there are some good ones this is-IMHO the best….

i’ll give my official analysis of my trip to rotherham, in a few days, here

3 thoughts on “rotherhamized

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