rent a nagging mom

i joined the very well equipped student gym at work in june…the end of the school year…

all summer it’s been blissfully empty and specious

the students are back and while it’s not the most crowded gym i’ve ever been to- the atmosphere has definitely changed. on a sunny late summer day i would expect these students to be outside…or at least doing homework?

i had an idea that i could rent myself out to parents in small town illinois, the one who have scrimped and saved to to said the young’uns to the big city to get an ejucation. i could put together a profile for each student-name, photo, major…and agreed freetime.

for a small fee-if i spot them in the gym outside of the official “free time” i will go to them and say something like:

so, how’s school going? classes? professors? probably got a lot of work to do compared to high school, eh? you know here at university level they don’t nag you to do your your work…and it in on time. if you’re late that’s the way the cookie crumbles…points off your grade…no excuses…big fat F!!!

and how will your hard working parents – who have made great scrifices so you can have a good education – feel when you come home at thanksgiving…quiet and stressed and overwhelmed with all the work you finally realized needs to be completed in too little time?

you won’t be lifting weights and posing for the girls/guys and drinking your triple pumpkin espresso mocha latte hold the whip- in november will you?? no siree bob!! you’ll be eating pot noodle with your nose so far into your keyboard late into the night that you won’t have the energy to crawl to the gym.

so little man/lady i suggest that you pull your head out of your ass and start studying now-do you want to live with your parents til you are 40???

that’s just the warm up-i’d go on explaining how they will single handedly be responsible for the downfall of modern society and life as we know it~~~

do you think i’ve done this speech before?? yep indeedy! and the beauty of this plan is that just like other hugely lucrative money making plans…to be effective the nagging needs to take place every day or two


3 thoughts on “rent a nagging mom

  1. That’s a hilarious, brilliant idea! I think you should post a notice of your services someplace on campus where parents might see it – if such a place exists. You can bet at least one of them would contact you!

  2. I love it! That way the kids would know there are actually other naggers out there! Sometimes I feel like a lone nagger, like the Lone Ranger only more dangerous and less mysterious.

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