Some people, men and women, have trouble with commitment, myself included. My baby days are over so marriage issues are stronger towards protecting my children from my husband than giving them a baby daddy.

It’s a rough situation for me and lover. He works in Kansas City, Missouri, 1.5 hour flight from Chicago~Monday-Thursday. I’ve been away in New York…do the math, not much time together.

A lot of texting, email, choppy phone calls.

I am wavering on the new job, he text that he was wavering on “everything”, I thought that might include me, I text that if he didn’t want me to join in on our upcoming cross country camping trip~just say so

He responded with the closest thing I have heard to a commitment in 20 odd years

(in caps)


How could I not melt, in true 2014 style?

11 thoughts on “Squeezing

  1. I feel like the sad voice of experience…he’s been around for a while for a reason. He would have been gone a long time ago if he didn’t feel compatibility. Never mind convenience – you’re always there – I am believing more and more that convenience is not what it is about with men. There has to be something more and I have become convinced lately (somewhat against my will!) that the secret word is ‘compatibility’. Have a wonderful time on your trip.

  2. I think compatibility is the big thing but in our age group there are so many competing priorities. I think that’s what’s different about dating when you are younger or being in a long term relationship and dating in middle age.
    i mean it’s just a no brainer that his/my kids/family are going to be number one…juggling that is always a bit difficult.
    saying that though I seem to hook up with men who take a lot of pride in their no commitment/spontaneous side…and that confuses the whole situation sometimes.

  3. I wish that I could be confident in what I believe to be the answer to what makes a successful/long term relationship.
    In my mind, you could have a very happy/ committed/relationship and feel happy and secure etc but if just one party doesn’t hold the same values as you do- then, asta la vista (sp) baby!
    I don’t think there’s a formula… That’s all

  4. I believe in dr Phil- ism…
    Put into a relationship only what you are willing to lose.
    If you are willing to lose everything then that was your choice!

    • Thanks for your comments Kim. As one of the few first and most happily married people I know I would vote for your promotion to TV talk show host~~”Dr Kim”??

      Most of my friends have two “learning experience” marriages behind them…looking at you Julie J!! 😉

      • Oh, yes, the voice of experience! I used the ‘compatibility’ word because, just an hour or so before posting on your blog, I’d been ditched! ‘Ditched’ may be too harsh a word for the things he said that night and has said since, but I think that will be the final outcome. We’re hashing a few things out and then, I suppose, we’ll both move on.

        So I’ve learned something new again – no matter how really lovely the man is (he is), if he still has under-18 kids to whom he is extremely attached (as he should be) and doesn’t feel whatever he needs to feel to include you in on that within a reasonable amount of time, it ain’t gonna happen. He really doesn’t have room in his life for me, as much as he says he likes me and cares about me – he just doesn’t feel it enough. So, better to end it now before we get any deeper…

  5. Hahaha…
    I just know of so many marriages that I thought were the benchmark, only to find that the bloke- yes, it’s always been the bloke, who’s been looking over his wifes shoulder for what I believe is ‘a better offer’

  6. Hence
    I firmly/ truly believe
    That we should all enjoy our marriage/ romance/ relationship In the moment/ for the moment!
    No one knows what tomorrow will bring!

  7. Tracy, in response to your comment but it being harder to step out…he and I ran into each other this afternoon at a beer festival. I’d asked him last week if he wanted to go but he said he had to work, he thought I should go anyway. I said I didn’t want to go on my own. Well, I ended up going with friends from work and he, in the end, did not have to work (as he was quick to point out to me). I saw him first, shortly after he arrived at the very same pub I was at (out of the six possible pubs either of us could have gone to that were taking part in the festival). He introduced me to the friend he was with and then didn’t want me to go. He hadn’t had a beer yet and he wouldn’t get drunk anyway, so dead sober, didn’t want me to go. I left him to rejoin my friends and then he and I talked twice after that. He didn’t want me to go, but he didn’t invite me to stay but said he would be in touch soon so we could talk and looked unhappy that I was going. Geez, I only had 1.5 pints of beer and here I am running on! But, I thought I’d feel uncomfortable seeing him and considered avoiding him – it would have been easy – we were outside then in our two separate groups, 25 feet from one another, watching each other every so often. I have no idea if we’re in too deep, but I don’t doubt anything he’s said – we are definitely not quite finished yet. Not sure if that’s good or bad…but I think it’s good. We will have the opportunity to get straight with each other before calling it off for good.

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