Dysfunctional Family of the Y ear

You would think that having a terminally ill family member would bring us closer. Circle the wagons, rally the troops? or not…

I knew this was going south when I got an email from my brother Wednesday morning-the subject line was “Unbridled loathing”

The email began

I just went off on Nancy and inadvertently gave that whole wing of the family exactly what they wanted.

Nancy being our younger, delicate sister. He ended with

Then she sent me another, slightly more wordy email that enumerated all of the things that she’s sad she’ll never be able to do with me.  So I reminded her that I’m still alive.  She also said that if I want to know Ma’s phone number I should google her.

So I suggested that she and the entire Aurora Gang go fuck themselves.

Well then…glad to see those charm school lessons paid off…

He summed our family up with this pearl of wisdom

We each need more than anything to sit down and discuss our differences, about 1,000 hours of couch time and about a 1,000 more hours of meditation.  That’s just to avoid fucking suicide.

I couldn’t make this up

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