Dear Maria

Last Saturday I participated in the Women’s March in Chicago. It was kind of a spontaneous outing for me. On Wednesday or Thursday my daughter asked me if I wanted to go for a walk on the nature trail but I said I wanted to go to the march. On Friday at work we were preparing for an event this Monday which coincidently included posters. That’s where I got the motivation to make a poster for the march. My first attempts were:



I have a long simmering hatred of Trump. I feel he is an opportunistic, self serving liar. You may feel different but as you see I am much more concerned with him taking payments from foreign governments while he is president AKA conflict of interest.

My next posters were a little more personal:



My second problem with Trump is his racist comments-Mexicans, Muslims…illegals.

Let me explain my last poster-

#1 I am a woman, mother, grandmother-I have a daughter, daughter in law, sister, nieces. I do not want them to ever experience that uncomfortable feeling, as I have, of being not quite good enough because they are female. At times I feel like young women have gone too far in the “girl power” arena but then I think back on all the small slights I have suffered. For example, I was laid off from a good paying US government contract job which utilized my Air Force skills when I was 5 months pregnant. About 6 weeks later a head hunter called me raving about my skills and promising me big money–when could I come in for the interview?? I said great but there’s just one “thing”…I’m 7 months pregnant. His words and I quote because they still burn 32 years later were…”Who is going to hire you like that?!?”

I have been a victim of sexual assault or in my case I was beaten up because I had my period-this happened in the basement of a house-while my girlfriend was having sex with her boyfriend in the next room and his family watched TV upstairs.

#2 I am a veteran. Okay, I served under Jimmy Carter but then under Ronald Regan. Things changed and got very serious, very quickly. I understand what it means to be an airman, your body is literally owned by the government. I served in a remote location in Turkey and gave birth to my daughter by emergency c-section in a trailer hospital. I experienced a Turkish military coup d’etat and lived under Turkish military rule for my 12 month deployment. I was placed on a rapid deployment team and had several “practices” in my last year. I signed a paper giving my babysitter custody of my daughter on a moments notice and transfer that custody to a family member for up to 6 months.

Trump apparently has plans to privatize the VA, my current employer. In some instances, say for a hip replacement or prostatectomy that may be perfectly acceptable but the VA provides a wide range of mental health services which focuses on PTSD and other veteran specific conditions. I admire our social work service for their sensitivity and expertise dealing with veterans who struggle to describe the horror of being in combat.. I do not support sending young (or old) vets to a local hospital for the multitude of veteran issues-they will be lost. Simply, the VA offers a camaraderie and acceptance that is not achievable in the private sector.

#3 I am a nurse. RN. For the last 30 years I have worked mostly in ICU, both in the US and England. iI someone asked what I do I would proudly say-“I save lives”.

Trump and the republicans are hell bent on dismantling the ACA. I vehemently disagree with this. I know how much work has gone into transitioning people to ACA. I believe in getting as many people as possible some form of health insurance. I have seen what happens when people do not have health insurance and do not participate in preventive medicine.

If there are issues with the ACA then address those issues but don’t just wipe out a whole system because it reminds you of a previous president.

Back to my title for this post

I have a very dear friend who is pro-life. I totally respect her view because I feel that she lives it and never wavers.

I just want to say

Dear Maria,

Please don’t let this march come between us. This march turned out to be a great moment of hope for me as I have been suffering extreme anxiety and worry since the election. It was not a single issue march and I think it was a bad decision to exclude pro-life groups.

Many people had many different views. The most empowering part was seeing 250,000 women (and men!) from infants to wheelchair bound –all graciously acknowledging each other on a warm. sunny Saturday in January 2017.



4 thoughts on “Dear Maria

  1. Dear Tracy– I get it..unfortunately even the ‘sheltered” girls have been subjected to cruel inappropriate behavior just because we’re female.. ..even I have been asked totally out of line questions at job interviews … but was too shocked or too afraid of not just keeping my head down and disappointing my immigrant parents who remind us all the time how easy/ lucky we have it and are …blah.. I don’t like Trump.. I didn’t vote for him.. I get it… and I love the fact you respect my views and we can still be friends..a lot of women can’t.. they think I have to be ALL or nothing.. and I can’t..It’s all much more complex and personal than that.. Besides Cate, who some people still feel shouldn’t be here, a person can’t decide if another person should or shouldn’t be alive.. I can’t watch Long Lost Family and not get choked up..(have you seen it?) ….sigh* .. anyway.. I love you and I respect you.. I am afraid for our country as well and hopefully these four years will go by without too much irreversible damage ..yikes.. I am glad you went on the march..I went to a pro- life gathering that day.. it’s OK.. You are my person..I know you’d be the first person I call when things go rotten and the first person I call when things go great.. keep being amazing..and yes!! you do saves lives..more than you can imagine..

    • Our friendship will survive, unlike some other relationships I have. For it’s not about who anyone voted for it’s just about respecting each other and not ranting on and on making it a personal issue.

    • All of them! They were double sided! One for rose and one for me. I tried to go to one at T tower recently but nobody showed up…and I missed the mooning (yes, dropping pants and that moon!) at T tower. It’s kind of a group activity and I don’t have anyone willing to go with me….

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