unloading at the dream factory

I’ve been very absent. Weirdly un-sharing but it hit me sometime last week during my long subway commute that I have been having intense, vivid, seemingly non-nonsensical dreams every night…starring all my children, parents and lovers, past and present…all jumbled up in various combinations.

The result is I am serenely clam and enjoying life. Today while mesmerized by the dryers at the laundromat I thought I really just need to stop worrying and enjoy every minute. I thought this will be one of those stories I can share with my grandkids.

Having experienced a spell of bad sleep, months/years of 3-5am insomnia~

I am enjoying nights full of sleep and dreams like a

pig in shit

summer thunderstorm

This afternoon I realized that I should have been starting my new job in New York city today. Instead I was still slaving away, doing jobs I’m not paid for thanks to the my current employer who let me stay when my license got messed up.

I interviewed for a job at the financially strapped public hospital where I currently work…just in case. The position is in the Colo-rectal department. Eewww, sounds pretty grim, eh? But it has significantly more direct patient contact and I am a sucker for a patient with a horrible cancer…In addition, they want to expand their “pelvic floor” services…maybe I could get some tips to avoid that diagnosis?

Anyway, tonight, on this warm August night in the middle of this glorious summer-just when the calender has turned the page and one realizes that this weather just may not last forever…a storm! Complete with lightening, waves of rolling thunder and pounding rain.

I anticipate a good night’s sleep.



A nap is an amazing thing

I am tired lately, worryingly tired…no matter how much I sleep I just want more…

That works pretty well in the winter when there’s not much else to do but now that spring has officially hit Chicago~I’ve got things to do, places to go~~~~

That’s where a good powernap comes in. Today after slacking at work all morning, walking with my group and then having an extended lunch at Stax I blew off work completely at 2pm and went home. I was soooo sleepy, embarrassingly sleepy in the middle of the day that I crawled in bed for a nap.photo-main

45 minutes and an iced coffee later I am raring to go!!

I guess it would come as no surprise that I was…have always been a champion sleeper…here’s the 411 on adult napping for brain power.


In England we slept on the night shift and virtually every time I would think~I’ll never fall asleep~~~wrong! I never failed to sleep and even the 20 minute nap can get you through a long night shift!

Anyway,I have two major papers left to write for school and lots of gardening to do this weekend.

They are predicting 70 degrees tomorrow and I intend to enjoy every fucking minute even if it includes a nap in the garden!


mr sandman, where have you gone?

sleep, oh sweet sleep

where are you, mr sandman?

come to me baby, come closer

i’ll lift the blanket so you can slip in next to me

wrap your warm arms around me

as we drift off to sleep together

I made up that little poem(?) up as I laid awake last night at 12.40 and 2.20 and 3 and 4.30am….As a complete stranger to insomnia, it is difficult to cope with  a sore throat that keeps me awake coughing through the night.

women who love their beds

I started a facebook group , a small but dedicated group of female bed lovers.

I am proud to say I returned some love to my bed yesterday by washing all of my bed linens-not just sheets but also the mattress pad and all 4 pillows.
After a really, really crappy slightly hung over day yesterday I slept like a queen (assuming queens sleep well), slept til a very respectable 9am, worked out, had exactly 1.5 cups of coffee, an apple and smoked salmon on a bagel…
Now, I am feeling fan-fucking-tastic!
Not sure if it’s all the wild, weird dreams I had, the endorphins from working out, the intermittent sunshine, my better than average clean house, starting a new semester or what???

pillow talk

i had trouble sleeping the first two weeks post move, i suppose that’s to be expected. jet lag, new bed, lots of worries…

i’ve increasing difficulties with hot flashes so it’s blankets on- blankets off all night…which is where the fan came in. let’s just say my roomates like it warm in the house and very occasionally forget to turn the heat down at night…so i started using a fan.

the pillows are nice…it never occured to me that something was missing…until my mom found an extra pillow and put it on my bed.

aaahhhh, the missing belly pillow!!! i love my pillows and the more the better-i have at times slept with 5 pillows. and i have for nearly as long as i can remember slept curled up hugging a pillow and i sleep better if i have one behind me also

so first paycheck in 2 weeks?? gonna get me one of these baby’s…

and this is what i’m gonna look like using it

thought for thursday

“In moments of discouragement, defeat, or even despair, there are always certain things to cling to. Little things usually: remembered laughter, the face of a sleeping child, a tree in the wind-in fact, any reminder of something deeply felt or dearly loved. No man is so poor as not to have many of these small candles. When they are lighted, darkness goes away-and a touch of wonder remains.”
These Small Candles – tombstone inscription in Britain

 i’m not terribly discouraged, defeated or in despair but i’ll have to remember this when i am. i am off for a long day tomorrow up north, breakfast on the train. i managed to swap a crucial shift which will free me up to work a few extra shifts before my lovely daughter and her (and my) long time friend christine visit the 1st of march. i hope to have a few treats for the girls when they visit!

i had a meeting with my boss today…after lunch…in a quiet office….where he had trouble concentrating…and kept falling asleep….

one thing i’ve learned from this research project is that people have a public persona and a private side. very strong, influential people are indeed very human~~