culinary bright spots

i don’t know if anyone remembers when i was saying awhile back that i’d had a series of cooking disasters? i tried some british dishes that i’d never tasted and really didn’t know how they were supposed to taste and it showed ….

i think i am back on track!

i made some mini cheescakes using the graham crackers i brought back from the states for the crust….because everyone knows digestive biscuits are NOT the same as graham crackers~~~they came out perfect!!

i had risotto for the first time in barcelona and have seen it cooked a million times on tv so i had a good idea of how to do it…..gave it a try and it also came out poifect!!!

and coleslaw! believe it or not i have never made coleslaw…mr a decided he had a craving for coleslaw with a bit of green apple in it and it was well worth the work seeing him buying a cabbage. …and it tasted really good!!

still working on the currys….

no energy for pictures or recipes today.

the rebound

it’s hard to believe that a week ago my head was full of intelligent phrases and i was sure there wasn’t anything i couldn’t do. then i came back to not just one but two jobs where i am treated like a complete fool. my confidence crushed i called/emailed in/off sick.

right now, i’d struggle to give more than my name, address and phone number. i also cancelled an interview that i was really looking forward to… 

i treated myself to a therapuetic 5 mile walk along the canal to remind myself i can still put one foot in front of the other and to try to loosen up my chronically aching back (it didn’t).

i did plant my pansies in between long spells under the duvet. tonight i figured i better get up and move around or i will never sleep tonight  (not that that’s ever been a problem for me) i watched eastenders-gotta love a chick pub fight where the heavily pregnant slag gets slapped and now i am watching:

rory and paddys great british adventure

and amazingly i think you can watch it too! it’s given me my only laugh today, ENJOY!

not bad for a high school drop out

i called home this evening to talk to my mom about this week’s events-she was out at target so i spoke to my step dad for a few minutes. i asked about his back, no surgery scheduled yet and told him i’d call back to talk to her about the week. he started saying he’d heard about it and he said congrats or something…it’s funny how your family, the ones who know you best put it all in perspective because i said “not bad for a high school drop out”

it may surprise or even shock some people to know that i am a high school drop out. that is the term for those of us who did not finish high school and receive a diploma. there’s lots of reasons why i didn’t finish-some that are clear and some forgotten-it seems like a different life, a different person now.

i don’t think there was ever a question that i was smart, clever…really intelligent. it was always about focus and direction. i took my GED cold, no preparation when i was 18 and when i went in the air force they said i had the highest “non HS grad” score they’d seen.

i suppose that makes my success this week a little bit sweeter.

it also make me look at the kids hanging out in my neighborhood and think…if only they had a goal~~if only they knew all the amazing places that are out there~~if only they could imagine what their life could be like if they applied themselves.

1 plane, 2 trains, a bus, a taxi and….

too many escalators, elevators and moving sidewalks to count!! that was our journey home today-it probably wouldn’t have been significantly different but it didn’t help that the french air traffic controllers went on strike today!! so take off was delayed by over two hours and the actual flight took an hour longer because we had to fly across spain and out over the atlantic and back across england.

i guess you might be wondering how my presentation went? well, just like giving birth or when i had my appendix out…i spent an enormous amount of energy worrying, fretting, imagining all sorts of terrible things and when it happened?

 it went so quickly, i barely remember what i said but my boss was very happy and whispered over my shoulder…

“did you ever imagine 18 months ago that you’d be speaking in  front of a room full of 200 people?”

to which i, of course shook my head, saying nooooooo and finally getting up the courage to actually look out at the room and  the sea of faces~~~~

afterwards, i felt like i was floating on a cloud and all i could say was ~~ it’s over~~

lots more to say about the whole thing but too tired at the moment. i will really enjoy sleeping in my own bed tonight!

tracya-1 the world-2

maybe the secret to happiness is to not care…i used to be intense and passionate which led to being impulsive and angry (really angry). now? i border between quiet seething and apathy.

today for instance, i had a very annoying and expensive train mix up….did i argue with the conductor???  nope, i just handed over my debit card.

when i got off the train and went to customer service to demand request a refund did i yell at the person showing fake sympathy?? nosiree bob…

and when i finally got to the ticket agent and explained the whole story again and he handed me a totally useless refund request fold over envelope, did i shout obscenities at the chap behind the desk??? no, no, no…

do you know why? because i just don’t have the energy anymore!!!

when i think about my £70 (about $100) i just do a slow burn…how could i be soooooo stupid to print off the wrong ticket???

goal-the world!!

when i got home i had three~with escalating distress~messages from the nurse doing the next schedule for work. another small mistake on my part….i have booked my ticket home without requesting my annual leave which sounds really bad but i only work one short shift a week so it is actually less than 10 hours.

i had to write a very apologetic, bordering on begging forgivness email to both the head nurse and my manager informing them of the error of my ways.  do i care?? not really~~if i was honest it would go something like this:

i’m going home for 3.5 weeks to visit celebrate and bask in the warmth of  my friends and family~i won’t be working, don’t call me~if that’s a problem, deal with it!!!!

goal-the world!!

my day in between those two goals?? we had yet another meeting at wallacespace *boring* i spoke up and people actually listened to me!! my boss and i have been working on a very complicated algorithm/flowsheet which got sent for the usual communications makeover. it came back technically corrrect but bland and boring. my boss called me early this morning and said he didn’t like it, he wanted to use the colour coded one that we did, could i just tidy it up and straighten the arrows etc.~~~ at the meeting, it was discussed by the whole team and mine won!!!